Ruby

13 Responses to “Ruby”

  1. rubyrwriter says:

    Ali entered the worn-down door. Not knowing what was inside, she peered past the cobwebs, which hung from above her. She frightened herself even more by repetitively thinking thoughts of unwanted an presence. There was a lingering stench coming from the corner of the room, which left Ali in a disgusted form of facial recognition. She was curious of what that grim smell was so she cautiously stepped forward quickly turning for nonessential surprizes that may sneak behind her without fail. Ali’s jaw dropped in amazement even though she was shaking of fright Ali ran wanted hope in her mind: “this is a dream it cant be true.”

    You might be wondering what this concern which brought alarm to Ali’s face was?…There lay a decrepit rocking chair as a stand for a rough cross-eyed doll that looked as though no one had touched it in decades. This doll had patches of coal marked skin though the hair that was supposed to be there. Ail clenched her fists as she felt some sort of dread towards the fact that it deeply stared into her eyes as though the doll was reaching for Ali’s soul. The startled girl ran to the door but she was to slow as it slammed in front of her very eyes. She was trying to her very best to open that door but it just wouldn’t budge. Panicking a great deal, Ali stood back and viewed the area for any signs of humanity but all she did see was an empty rocking chair and a shadow running across the wall screaming;” come play with me”

  2. rubyrwriter says:

    Dear Mrs.Ely

    I am writing to you to insure that the amount of homework we get will get lowered. As a pupil in this school I and others are getting very pressured to do work every single night and this reduces family time that we no longer get. This subject should be kept to a maximum of three pieces of homework every week so we get guaranteed at least a day of unstressed relaxation after school.

    As a community of year sixes we are lacking in our school subjects as we are worrying about the homework:” is it going to be at a high enough standard”,” will it be interesting enough” and “what will we get next?” This has been a concerned liable for months now and I think we should take a step forward and demand for it to be dropped to a level we can manage.

    Thank you for your time
    Yours sincerely
    Ruby Rose Rimner

  3. rubyrwriter says:

    I feel alone, as I am playing the worn keys the music is overcoming me .It reminds me of the last time me and my happy-faced wife played together , it was magical . The music once again fills me with regret as I think of the happy times we shared together. Energy is flowing through my body “please come back to me” I am thinking to myself .

    The most beautiful ghost slowly appears in front of me , her beauty is making me alive . We finally play once more “stay here forever ” I am whispering to her . She is kissing me goodbye now ,” I am hoping you come back” I am saying to her as she goes into the darkness.I am feeling lonely once again …

  4. rosiewriter says:

    🙂
    Good description
    Try to use better adverbs(courageously,bitterly,absentmindedly)
    I liked the adjectives in there but try to use more empressive ones.
    Use something better than The Crazy Old man use some thing like the discustingly ratty man.

  5. rubyrwriter says:

    THANK YOU

  6. georgiawriter says:

    I wish i could write as good as you have really good description!

  7. rubyrwriter says:

    Above the clouds,were no one seeked of, was a short,little, old man ,who lived by himself after his poor wife got killed in a car crash . He lived with disappointment through his eight years of lonely ness .He ended up living upon the sky after he had been through so much, by flying up there (and no he does not have super powers ) he flew up there in a space ship( he secretly built in his gritty old garage )!

  8. rubyrwriter says:

    The oak door carefully creaked open , noisily . As we sawin side our mouths dropped in amazement of what we saw.We gradually crept in the randown , old house , as i slowly looked round i heard a loud noise it was like the sound of a builders muddy drill . It got more and more louder , it came from up stairs – well we thought it was any way – we heard more loud noises they weren’t the same as before . Tose ones were a lot more suttle than the otherone .

    ” Im really frightend Thesaurus ! ” whispered Dictionary with a worry in his voice .”it will be great , ok ? ” exlaimed me . As i took a few more steps towards the creaky/noisy room upstairs . As he knodded his pulsing head with a frightend look on his face i walked and opened the door of noise after we silently crawled up the stairs . We saw a mad-looking man surrounded by piles of never ending mechanical fact filled books /crazy inventions . There were pieces of paper all stuck on the wall Written on them were ideas that blew our minds , like : a living -life like human ran by batterys and a enchanted unicorn horn with pure angel /fairy dust that made it fly into the air . ”What do you think your doing in here !” exlaimed the old crazy man . We stuttered !

    • tyddstmary says:

      🙂 Well done! Great description (oak door,carefully creaked open, rundown old house)
      ! You could add some more adverbs ( I exclaimed, LOUDLY/EXCITEDLY/QUIETLY)
      ! The last line doesn’t make sense-you could change it to WE STOOD THERE, GOBSMACKED.

      • rubyrwriter says:

        My ninja target is commas and dashes.

        Across the land lived a magical place named Holly dame . It was filled with imagination – that’s what Hollydame is known for – it was also known for the most greatest wizards and witches of all time .

        In the school was a little boy called Sniper ( they also had very weird names ). He was learning about how to demolish demons , and yes there were demons and goblins around there .His best friend ( legg) was also learning the same as Sniper . They had been friends since they were babies .

        They both had an enemy called Mastermine – he was being taught about how to through fire – he was throwing the fire in his hands all day ( they went all over the school ) . Mrs Frog wasn’t very happy about this she asked everyone if they had seen anybody throwing them about . We had to speak up so we did and Mastermine was sent into detention for the rest of the week .When he unfortunately got out of detention ( the next week ) he raced to use with a stomp in his step and pulled use both up into the air by our ties .I used my strangling spell on him as soon as I could and he slammed use on the floor as he was nearly choking to death .

        The head teacher came out as soon as he could , he used a un-anything potion ( it undoes any potion or spell ) . He wasn’t very happy with our behavior and blamed it on use but we tried to tell him what really happened but he wouldn’t listen.So we had a dissapointing week of detention. So we went into the naughty room . Then suddenly we heard a noise, it was like foot stomp sound .Then standing in front of use was a dark red looking devil ,we didn’t know what it was (it was only use in the room and also the creepy looking monster ). It spoke …

        • rubyrwriter says:

          I feel alone, as I am playing the worn keys the music is overcoming me .It reminds me of the last time me and my happy-faced wife played together , it was magical . The music once again fills me with regret as I think of the happy times we shared together. Energy is flowing through my body “please come back to me” I am thinking to myself .

          The most beautiful ghost slowly appears in front of me , her beauty is making me alive . We finally play once more “stay here forever ” I am whispering to her . She is kissing me goodbye now ,” I am hoping you come back” I am saying to her as she goes into the darkness.I am feeling lonely once again …

          • rubyrwriter says:

            Gymnastics: Beth Twiddle

            As she was waiting in the changing room,Beth chanted to her herself ” do it right and land that flip you have done it before you can do it again.”She could faintly hear impatient people shouting her name as she inhaled the stuffy air around her. They were getting louder and louder as the excitement built up.Beth made herself uncomfortable as she worried about that last turn and tensely squeezed herself together like a compressed ball.She shook herself out, rolled her head round and felt more relaxed.

            Filled with determination she strengthened herself to believing she could do it and nodded firmly. She stretched out her muscles preparing for what was to come.Beth consoled herself after she doubted and didn’t believe she could win a third time running .Her phone vibrated with a text message wishing her good luck from one of her many good friends.With just a quick glance at a picture of family she realised she would win and show every one who is the best.Creating power within herself she was ready.

            She moved towards the top of the tunnel after her pep talk and listened to the great sound calling of Beth Twiddle and smirked with confidence.With her muscles relaxed she was going to do it right and that was a fact.She walked along the floor ,out of the tunnel and was walking strongly and swiftly as she slowly turned her head towards the audience as they were clapping for her.She was pleased.

            She made her way to the floor routine as her name was called out.Beth got through half of her routine and didn’t mess up anything and landed magnificently but here it was the triple turn flip and…..She did it ,knowing she could do anything she won the whole competition .Everyone around her cheered pacefully and was glad for her in every way possible to man kind.

            “Believe in yourself ” Beth loudly bellowed to the clappers.

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