Maddalyn

6 Responses to “Maddalyn”

  1. maddalynwriter says:

    Dear mrs Ely

    I am writing to you to address you about the homework. It is getting way out of hand. I am just assuring you that we don’t have time to do homework every night.

    Every night we would like to watch a film with our families;however, can’t do that anymore, instead we sit in our rooms doing homework. My family and I do not except us having pieces of homework a night. As we don’t have time to shower, so we go to school stinking. I don’t think this is what you would expect from your year sixes.

    As well as this we become very brain dead at school the next day;however, we are lacking at school work.As a result of this we are now lower than the year three. When we do lessons we spend the whole time listening to Mr Spelman going on about what we are suppose to be doing constantly.

    So our family time, sleep time and shower time has been taken over by you. Are you proud of yourself making your students less smart?We are like clueless four years old. So can we make an agreement that we can all agree on?
    Thank you for spending some of your valid time and care reading this letter.

    Yours
    Sincerely
    Maddalyn Robyn Andrews
    Thank you.

  2. maddalyn says:

    I feel lonely and sad,as I play the old,dusty piano I am having flash backs to the old memories me and Rose had together. I am playing a song on the piano that is my wife’s (Rose) most favorite song ever. I was a medic in the army but I stopped doing it anymore because my fiend died. I have a wonderful son that is all grown up now. When he was little me Rose and Harrison (Harrison is my son) would sit for hours and play there favorite song but they both died.

    I wish i could just be with them one last time.

  3. rubyrwriter says:

    Really good maddy and you have used dashes in the right place !
    I love how you decribed the clothes he was wearing!!

  4. maddalynwriter says:

    Me and Bob walked in the abanded house with fear .
    We looked around and said to each other “t-this is an o-ourdanary house isnt it?”I said . Half of the room was dull and the other half was bright and colurful . We thought it was a trick and moved forward and walked into whisling trip wire Bob screemed. “come on we should not be here lets go!”shouted Bob “no,”I said we carried on walking.I walked on a flattend,orange,worn away carpet “whats that?”Iwhisperd .We heard footsteps.We followed him or her.It walked through a wall and went to the other side .We walked through and saw it hollding a spear.He took his remarkable hood down.He was wearing a black cape with a miniture hood and camouflage shorts.We saw his badge it said professor Bean we shook in fear!

    • rosiewriter says:

      Well done 🙂
      !You could add some more adverbs, e.g into whisling trip wire Bob screamed LOUDLY, NOISILY and WITH A WORRY IN HIS VOICE.
      Good description and well described.

    • keirawriter says:

      Well done good discription . Try not to use ands all the time and use better connectives like so , but . Also use some adjectives like ghastly, weary to make it better .

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