Florence

6 Responses to “Florence”

  1. florencewriter1 says:

    As I opened the crooked old door in the cottage there was no circuit of light. All she could see was a antique rocking chair, which was rocking away.the lights were flickering and spitting on and off. my heart beats when suddenly I turn around and there was a creepy terrifying doll standing looking confused. Pictures were hung up on the wall they looked old wherever you went the eyes would follow you. I wanted to leave but I heard screaming and shouting sounds coming from the distance. my heart was racing and pumping sweat was dripping and hot flush came to me.

    The doll was singing a creepy tune I turned round and it was on the rocking chair.
    The sound stops and the house goes silent.A few seconds later she heard a banging and a chainsaw going on she thought it was another doll but it was a horrible terrifying clown.my pain in my body rushed down because I thought something was going to happen to me. It smelt disgusting there were cobwebs and dust all around she could hear the wind whistling and the rain dripping from the thatched roof thunder was banging with a light of lightning. As she walked around she could hear someone talking to her Ali got really scared it sounded like they were saying “what are you doing”. I didn’t want to reply so they shouted again and said ” leave or stay” so I thought that I should leave I ran back to the door to leave and never be seen again.

  2. florencewriter1 says:

    My fingers were playing a lovely tune it reminds me when me and my wife were sitting together it is our favourite tune we love it .Then my wife peer’s through the door and comes and play’s the lovely tune with me on our old vintage piano . Suddenly she gave me a gentle kiss and walks away calmly . My heart was sinking i knew she would soon go to heaven and I will always play our favourite tune together and she and will never forget when I play it at her funeral we both loved it . I will play it every day because it will remind me of her .

  3. florencerwriter says:

    lillly and me stood remarkabley still we were shivering.I said “I really don’t want to touch the the handle . we both touched the black ghastly door handle and twisted it .we went through. we heard someone quietly whistiling we were panicing . Lilly said quietly I think we should go i whispered no ! But we walked a bit closer in to a massive room there was cobwebs everywhere under there was an old haunted bookshelf .

    • louisgwriter says:

      Well Done! Good vocabulary
      ! You could most probably change most of them words you could change massive to ext giant,overlysized

    • abbywriter says:

      Good discripted piece of writing next time try go use a capital letter after a full stop!!!:):)

      • rosiewriter says:

        Well done 🙂
        I like your word, remarkably so good vocabulary.
        ! Don’t forget capital letters for names and at the start of a sentence.
        ! Try to use an adjective to describe the word “cobwebs” e.g, into a massive room there were CREEPY cobwebs everywhere. OLD/AS RATTY AS WITCH HAIR/DELICATE.
        ! Try a better word than “said” in your sentences of speech e.g, Lily STATED quietly.
        SHOUTED/EXPLAINED/EXCLAIMED.
        Other wise good work. 🙂

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